Since a majority of time in Seronga is spent going about the daily business of food procurement, cleaning the ever entering sands from not the hourglass, but from one’s life, cleansing one's body (if not always one's soul), running around the village and plotting one’s next internet fix, the limited amount of free time one has must be spent on having fun, if for no other reason than that if not for some fun one would lose their mind, shit, ect. One must be creative in these “fun” pursuits, and in order to give my adoring fans a glimpse into what counts as “fun” in Seronga I’ve made my top twenty list of my favorite Seronga pastimes. You have to supply your own visuals, and it’s in the “you” form as I also do a lot of talking to myself here….
1) Teach yourself the harmony parts to Postal Service songs (thank you so much L-I’d kiss you if you weren’t back in America!!!) and then do high kicks to same during upbeat numbers. Contemplate writing and choreographing Broadway revival a’la “Mama Mia” and realize the report on Andrew Lloyd Webber you did while in London was closest you’d get to the Great White Way. Settle for Peace Corps being your current claim to fame (for now!)
2) Hunt down someone to open the computer lab at the school-this will take the better part of an hour and at least ten pula worth of airtime on your cell phone- (hopefully your buddy Eman, then spend a while wondering (again) why you don’t just have your own key?) and just wait. Eman will declare today a “work day”, proclaim that he’s very sad and wants to cry today and will put on the Usher “Confessions” album and the two of you will have a sing along. He will also cue up such gems as the Michael Boltan classic “Said I Loved You But I Lied”, along with every thug-tastic sad song that’s been released in the past two decades. Question Eman’s guaranteed melancholy disposition; realize that when you’re sad listening to sad music is funny and thank God for him.
3) Gaze down at your belly button and upon viewing the ring that is still there, have an argument with yourself as to whether this is your high school or college post break-up body, due to semi starvation and partial malnutrition in rural Africa. Rue the fact that no ex boyfriends are going to happen upon you on the road in Seronga. Thank god for Facebook, where they might. Wonder if you could ever maintain this in the presence of real food. Realize there’s no fricken way, and make a goal to get over body anxieties. You’ve got two years…
4) Come up with a convoluted and ridiculous plan to have a contest to name the lizard that lives in your windowsill. Think of some possible names yourself and realize you blew your cleaver name wad on those damn cats. Be cheered in the fact that you’ll probably be able to name some kids someday and realize you should practice with the lizard. Or not so much.
5) Write many, many semi coherent blog entries and letters home. This is fun in that in attempting to describe life here, you realize it could never, ever be done. You will never do it justice. As it is impossible, there is less pressure and thus you can just be wildly entertaining. Ha.
6) Make long and random lists of ….everything. Life goals, goals for the next year, six months, week, day, ten minutes, knowing that a grand and frightening majority will probably never happen. Make peace with that for about ten seconds and move on. Lists of favorite foods that you miss, reasons you’re happy to still be here, reasons you wish you were home, great things about Seronga/Botswana/Africa/ make a large and ongoing list to complete Vanity Fair magazine’s Proust questionnaire, dream of new and amazing half cocked ideas for ways you could change the world that again, will likely not pan out. All of the above to be written in crayon. Don’t take yourself too seriously.
7) Photography 101. There is no shortage of amazing, weird and wonderful things in Seronga and Botswana to take photos of. Favorite subject when all else fails? Self.
8) Repeat random and useless celebrity and entertainment gleaned from celebrity imported magazines as well as the fact that you often spend your precious internet time checking out people.com (and realizing you could be checking out like cnn.com if you were more of an adult…) to unsuspecting (and possibly unenglish speaking) villagers in effort to keep on top of useless celebrity knowledge game. Mentally go through the ever changing family tree of Brad and Angelina. Mourn the fact that you have likely ended your glory days as an unstoppable contender at Trivial Pursuit (the last 20 years) and Scene It.
9) Pedicure toes. Again.
10) Practice walking around balancing things on your head. I myself am up to quite a few steps before whatever thing I’m balancing falls off. If I put one arm up to support whatever it is I’m doing even better. In addition to being a fancy parlor trick, I figure this may be the one indicator that I’ve actually lived in Africa (as I suspect the tan may fade with time…)
11) Go through stockpile of magazines to determine the next short transitional style for hair and plot out who in this country might be qualified to perform the operation. Contemplate what it means that hair role models for now are Pink, Victoria Beckham, Katie Holmes and Agnyess Deyne. Make collage of pictures for back of door.
12) Plank position (like the up part of a push up). Done to Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers “American Girl”. Hold until arms, legs, abs and other previously unknown muscles shake violently (generally the length of 1 song) laugh hysterically and repeat. This constitutes one set. Do three or four.
13) Baking. Like from scratch with a recipe book. Spend most of day wandering around village looking for eggs.
14) Pick up a few more languages. This may seem ridiculous in light of the fact that you are barely conversational in one, however. If one is going to suck at one African language, one can certainly handle being terrible at three or four. In all seriousness, learning the greetings to several of the other languages in my village-priceless. Seeing the toothless old people grinning and commenting that the Lekgowa now speaks Simbugushu and Seyai, heartwarming. Being unable to tell which tribe any of these toothless old people are from, and risking offending them (I've been told that these two tribes in particular really strongly dislike each other)- a little more dangerous, but i like to live on the edge. And I think they at least see I'm trying...
15) Cheerleading. Not the yea rah rah type, but the kind in which one runs around the village encouraging people to follow through with the things you've previously asked them to do for this or that project. This'll take a while.
16) Continue on with house decorating project. It only looks a little like an asylum now, and more like a standard issue padded room with pictures and writing everywhere. Surely there's a little more space over here....
17) Re-view every movie you have. Watch them again with the second commentary. Not the one with the director and the main stars, the one with the dolly grip and the sound guy giving their recollections of filming. Dream up additional alternate endings. Laugh out loud. This is your life.
18) Imagine the first thing you'll say to everyone upon arriving home. Stop that. It makes you homesick.
19) Read. Another. Book.
20) Gaze out at the day, the sunlight, the raindrops, the stars, the moon, the clouds, the clear sky, the delta. Walk through the village and find something to smile about. Great the children and the old ladies, the friends and the strangers who know your name when you might not know theirs. Write random things on the pavement at the school in chalk. DAnce to the song in your head (or on your ipod). Breathe in the air and do all the things you never had time for in your previous life. Express gratitude. Even when it's boring, this is an amazing experience you're having, and it only gets better with time.
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