Dithapi Trust

“I was lost because I didn’t have a sense of where to put my passion, and my fight.”
Angelina Jolie.

Although the similarities between myself and Ms. Jolie end abruptly after the characteristics of having a lot of energy, idealism and a certain level of feistiness (and perhaps eccentricity) are exhausted (as I can’t really see myself picking up Brad Pitt and adopting and birthing a crayola box brood of children) over the past few months in Africa I think I may have found a place to put my passion and my fight.

I’ve got this quote on my facebook page, and I’ve always been able to relate to the idea of not quite having “It.” Having found “it,” having achieved “it”, knowing what or where or who or how “it” is. Through the previous and continual confusion, lack of fulfillment, and search for meaning there has often been something missing from my professional endeavors. Although the expereinces have all taught me a lot, I’ve yet to find a place or a project that can hold my attention for longer than about 6 months (I usually end up staying a year just to make it appear that I’m not quite as impulsive as I may actually be on my resume). After a lot of soul searching, ruminating, bitching and moaning, I’ve come to surmise that part of the problem is that I’ve been racing down career paths that although intriguing, and often powerful, weren’t at all for me. I’ve taken many jobs that have bored me quite nearly to tears (although generally with really decent people) just to be around the people with the big time jobs (therapists, attorneys) that I thought I might want, and have used years of my life as an extended career day. I have had no idea what I want to be when I grow up (and really for the most part still don’t).

But I’ve got something in the mix.

I’ve been a bit reluctant to speak about it wildly, or to put it on my blog, as for a long time it’s been a very long shot project, a pie in the sky idea that would be a miracle if it occurs. I’ve been hesitant to fully reveal such a crazy plan, as if it fails then everyone will have read about it (a potentially embarrassing situation, and as I’m always so adamant that I don’t believe in embarrassment, what the hell am I afraid of…?). It’s not that I’m basing my entire service on it, or that I would feel that my time here was a waste, but I think I would possibly feel an acute sense of loss. It would public, and potentially painful to have so many witnesses to the birth and death of something that has been born of my very soul, and that I will have invested so much of myself and my sense of hope in to have it all be a failure would be devastating.

But that’s another lesson that Africa is teaching me with all the grace and kindness of one of Disney’s wicked stepmothers. When you’ve already given up (or in some cases, lost) most of what you hold dear to heart, you haven’t got much else to lose. And you should always follow your dreams (cue the Phil Collins theme song…) even if you’re not quite sure what those dreams completely are or how to achieve them. Hakuna matata and all that.

And so, with that overwrought introduction, (cut Phil Collins abruptly, call for the drumroll, please) I reveal the project that could keep me in this world through the looking glass longer than my allotted two years:

The Dithapi Trust of Seronga Village.

Part 1.) It began with my meeting with Thuso, the local math teacher, when I asked him what he would want to do if he could do anything in Seronga, what would it be? I told him to dream big (because at some point I got the idea in my head that one must “go big or go home”). He said that he would like to build a fish pond for the local children (he is also the advisor to the ecology club) to be able to learn about and identify the fish of the delta, and run some science experiments and gain a better understanding of their surroundings. Having just finished Pre-Service Training (the official brainwashing of the Peace Corps program) I was able to quickly see that this might not have much merit as a primary HIV and AIDS reducing program but resolved to think of a way to incorporate it, and in my mind I took on the fish pond as a exciting secondary project.
Part 2.) I mentioned the idea to Simon, who, at 60, in addition to getting older and slightly more cantankerous, is also at the prime age for beginning to contemplate the twilight years of his life and what contribution he’s made to the world. After mulling Thuso’s pond idea around in my brain I thought it would be lovely to also make the pond into some sort of tourist attraction, perhaps by adding a glass wall to the pond. It seems simple and easy enough. Nine months back when I arrived in Seronga, all shiny and new and idealistic, I think I charmed Simon a bit while he waited for the enthusiasm to wear off and the jadedness to set in. He is the type who has always been up for a challenge. Simon seemed to think it was all perfectly do-able, and in his mind there was no reason their couldn’t be a commercial fishery involved to make the pond more self sustainable, and I pointed out that something like that could also provide jobs for the community, who at that point were still begging me for money and jobs every day. The dream seemed to be moving right along in its own unlikely little phases.
Part 3.) Simon mentions the fish idea to Graham, who’s got his PhD and is married to Anna, who is getting hers doing elephant research down the road at her camp in Gunitsoga. They had joked about doing fish research while out fishing one day, and Graham mentioned that he would like to get some funding to do research so he could be closer to Anna. Simon mentions this and Graham seems interested. I mention the project to Dudu, who has experience in grant writing and getting funding, so I added her to the mix.
During one of our regular “sundowners on the floodplains” adventures in which we happened to have Thuso with us, Simon brought me to the site he had in mind. As the sun set over the old quarry, I got tears in my eyes. I am usually not one who is able to physically look at a space and envision what could go there. I have a wild, wild imagination and am a big dreamer, but I have trouble choosing paint colors because I cannot imagine what they will look like in different lights. But as I stood next to the ancient baobab trees that would be preserved to provide perfect shading over the large whole in the hill in which the pond could be built I could envision it. I suddenly understood what parents experience when they first see their new baby. So much pride and marveling at its beauty, and a nearly heart crushing joy and thrill at the potential a baby holds locked inside of itself. The fear that it might be hurt or fail in any way, and the powerful energy used to will for nothing bad to happen, and the realization of the helpless inevitability of the very fact that unimaginable things will occur. It was amazing, and despite having been there only once, I often see the place in my dreams.
Part 4.) We all met to discuss the idea for the project on Simon’s veranda. By this time the idea has been stewing around my brain for a few months, and as it has not lost any of it’s inertia in my own mind, and I was damn excited to have all these people who are interested in this project together in one spot. Anna and Graham have spent the last few years founding an animal preserve in Francistown, and are thus relatively experienced on the potential feasibility of something like this, and they seemed to be cautiously optimistic. I spent a long old car ride to Francistown (complete with a car breakdown to keep things interesting, but also to extend the length of the chat) with Graham, and was able to discuss the possibilities of the project. We had tossed around the idea of forming a private trust, and were sort of brainstorming names. We both liked the idea of using “Dithapi,” which is the Setswana word for fish (plural), but also wanted to incorporate the Seronga Village as part of it, as it will inevitably involve and benefit the community. Plus it invokes the importance of the people of the village and the village as an actual place worth being noted. Anna came up with the name we are using at this point, as if it is a trust it may be something that might be replicable if it’s successful in its initial incarnation in Seronga perhaps there could be other villages supported under the umbrella of the Dithapi Trust.

Parts 4, 5 and 6, and on and on and on…..
I’ve been running around the country speaking to people about this idea, including a few impromptu performances for the wildlife, fisheries and delta management departments in Maun. These meetings generally included lots of laughs at my introduction of myself as “Lorato” and my attempts to speak Setswana. As the meetings would progress eventually the fiery passion that I feel about the project would take over and despite my nearly complete and total lack of concrete knowledge about fisheries, business, non-profit management, ect, ect they were taking me quite seriously. In the end they would look me over with an air of slightly bemused satisfaction and much indication that they were impressed…. But…. This was a huge, multimillion pula project. Yes, it was certainly a great idea and would be wonderful for the village and the area.. But. They were honest with me in admitting that there were only two masters level fisheries people in the country, residing, of course, in Gaborone, the capital city two days journey from the site I have in mind. They questioned my knowledge of inputs and outputs and I again cursed my undergraduate degrees for not being in this very subject, or at the very least something business-like. They offered whatever support they could, always reminding me that in a few years the infrastructure (and bridge across the delta to the crazy place I live, a completed road, electricity) might be more appropriate to create and sustain something of this magnitude. They wished me luck and told me what I would need to do to get the land allotted to the project, as well as mentioning a few people I’d already been in touch with in the country who knew about fisheries.

I’ve since contacted and met several of the who’s who of fish farming in Botswana (the beauty of a small country is that everyone doing most projects can relatively easily be put in contact with anyone else looking to do a project. This part has been somewhat easy.). They all say it’s possible… But. There are a few people in particular that have done small model fish farms and I’ve learned a bit more about what it would take. Not Easy. At All. The main places where people are doing these sorts of projects are in or near Gabs, and electricity, reliable clean water, paved roads, no unreliable ferry boats to negotiate. The difficulties generally lie in the delicacy of fish farming and balance, as well as the economics of setting something like this up, which I have exactly nil experience with.

But along the way I continue to run into people who encourage me, that it is possible, somehow, someway.

Just this week I met with a consultant who happened to be in town working on a project with human animal conflict in the delta. I run into some of the most random and connected people this side! He suggested that for the educational part of the plan he could definitely help me package the thing so as to be supported by the government, which would be a first step (although damn, it seems like there are so many first steps. This is beginning to feel like some crazy tango I’ll never learn!) It seems so strange to not be going about something like this in my typical American way, to make a list, make a plan, and “git ‘er done”. It’s been a slow strange seduction of just when I think I’m ready to quiet my mind and put the issue, and this idea to bed, I manage to come across someone who has just a little more information, and teaches me about one more aspect I need to know in order to make this dream a reality. The whole progression has been very strange, and yet I feel it unfolding just as it’s supposed to. It’s hard for me to just flow with this one, but when I can I find it’s giving me pretty good results.

So I’m to the point where I haven’t given up on the idea, but I’m realizing it cannot be done in the time I have left here. And it’s also not something I would be willing to start and then leave and allow it to fall apart. I’m not ready to say Botswana is the place forever yet either. I want to see more of the world, as well as get some more education under my belt before I commit to undertaking what I suspect would be a life project. I’m quite seriously flirting with the idea of trying to set a time line in which to come back and undertake this thing once we have a little more infrastructures this side, in the form of electricity, a bridge, a paved road, ect. The project lives on in my heart, and it’s a very tough thing to not throw myself desperately at hoping that I can move it forward on the strength of my will alone. I've had the best results come to me through being patient and letting the passion I feel for the potential of this project keep me slowly chipping away at the numerous challanges in the way. It’s been a new thing for me to consider doing something I don’t have the inclination that I am more than capable of accomplishing it, to look into and dream about doing something for which I could possibly fail completely. Sometimes I think the only expertise I have to offer this idea is the love and passion I feel for it. Other days I am certain of it. But these are the kinds of things that happen to a soul in the depths of Africa.

We’ll see what happens…..