It has been a lovely, amazing weekend, full of Mommas and Babies and good vibes. As Jack would say, it was a breast fest. This weekend was the ceremonial last goodbye as three women go their separate ways, on journeys that will fill their sails and their spirits. My apartment was filled with love, organic food, babies sleeping in bathtubs and one shoving her tiny feet into my back as I slept. There was Chinese food and fire and sparks and smoke (literally) and tears and more love and lots of orange juice and one fun foam roller (gross motor skills!!). We got matching pink hair and painted pink toes and wore altogether too much pink (which is fine, because she can pull it off, she's two).
Our friendship was born and fostered in the fiery do or die world of woodland hills, where we depended on each other for physical and emotional support, held each other's hands (heads, hair) as we fought to come more into ourselves whilst trying to teach the next generation about their own self worth. (and we started this daily at 6 AM... anyone who is still willing to be my friend after watching me struggle through that many morning shifts should be sainted) I can honestly say moreso for these women than for nearly anyone else that I have trusted them with my life. We learned to operate on a level without words, often moving in tandem by expressions and instinct. They were there as I was assaulted, there as I shoved snow, shit and other unthinkable piles and there as I camped..(which I by no means loved it but that's it's own special deal), there as I grew and failed and succeeded and learned what it really takes to be a role model.
As the years have passed we have shared everything we have with each other, the men have come and gone, and come back, the children and their births have blessed us, the day I imagined would be my wedding day was really hers and I couldn't have been happier if it had been my own, (and as a matter of fact I would have been miserable if it had been mine). Life has been wonderful and hard and trying and above all always sacred.
It is a season of goodbyes in my life, all painfully necessary to make room for the hellos on the horizon, but all the while hard to keep in mind sometimes; that these goodbyes are not deaths, and not permanent, but a temporary leave taking which will serve to help me become a better human being. It's tough to remember that as I walk away from these tiny feet and tiny faces and know that when I come back the little feet will be bigger, they will know more words- (or words at all, their coos and gurgles will have become little voices) and they might not say Katchy with the same little smile and occasional "confusing H" sound. They might not remember me. I'm going to leave for two point whatever years and I'm going to miss certain special moments in their lives, welcoming new babies into the world, birthdays, first steps, first words, writing their names... These are all truths and I know I will miss these and many other special moments for my adult friends and family, marriages, new jobs, big moves, births, deaths, new puppies, gorgeous long heart to heart chats with big gestures and facial expressions, candlelight dinners, but with children there's a certain magic that is sprinkled with a little extra fairy dust.
For these lost moments I cry, and for these lost moments I mourn. And as I cry and mourn I also give smile and thanks, that I have been so lucky and so blessed to have these great women in my life and that they have shared these special little ladies with me. And for all the wonderful people who have touched my life, and allowed me to touch theirs.
Three friends and two babies who would give the world for each other, and know they must, and smile through their tears as they wave each other onto their journeys. Good luck to you both, on this and all your life's journeys, and may strength and grace accompany you every step of the way.
I love you,
Your Katchy
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